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a witch hikes the PCT in 2017 & this is her story

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Witch Wandering

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  • OCT '16
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Day 38 // Mojave Zero

June 27, 2017 Pitch
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No miles

The sun rises and spills light right into my eyes at dawn. Sleeping in a closed space without any air flow feels suffocating now. I lay in bed, looking at the red pink sky fill with light.

I sit up and make a little coffee water. I light the remainder of my rolled ciggarette from the night before. It feels disgusting this early, but it's a strange comfort. I get up to pee in the derelict trailer across the way from my little shack.

I find the others planning for breakfast and hitching into the nearby city, Lancaster. I decide to join them. We take the shuttle to a cafe down the road. We get a few things to snack on and make a game plan.

I get a text from the ex-boyfriend. It's angry and in my eyes tries to excuse the shittiness of the breakup with the fact that he isn't perfect, and that he told me this going into it. I try to get him to allow me to call him, but he won't budge it seems and it hurts. I just want to understand more and it doesn't have to end on a good note, but at least one of understanding. 

I can't get him to cooperate with me, so I ask him to send me anything of mine to my mailing address and I say goodbye to him. I can't deal with being toyed with, or strung along. I delete our history of texts and photos of him. I can't hang on to it.

I palm the gift I bought him in Wrightwood, a small enamel pin of a western diamondback rattlesnake, coiled up and ready to strike. I was so excited to send it to him, but through the apathy and feelings of abandonment, I have no desire to send it to him, even in an act of compassionate goodbye I just can't send it. I take it off the small bit of cardstock it was on, and attach it to my own hat. This is my medicine now. It sits right next to my little Aries sign pin and I put it on.

Everyone is ready to get moving. The hitch we know isn't going to be easy since cars fly by pretty fast in this area. I spot however, two guys who seem to be on a rest stop and I ask if they're heading past Lancaster. They say yes, and I discover that they're rock climbers and quite hiker friendly. I arrange for all of us to get a ride right into town, by the Chinese buffet AJ and Bananas have been drooling over for what seems like weeks now.

We load into the car and take off at light speed it feels like. It nauseates me a little. The climbers drop us off right in front of the Chinese buffet, which isn't open until 11 we've got an hour to kill. We each offer them a couple bucks in gas money but they refuse and wish us luck.

I do some quick googling to see what is arond us and find a wal-mart. Engine and everyone else gets really excited. In my normal life, I would never step into one, but in this circumstance and the rapid deteriation of my insoles, it's sort of a nessesity.

We walk across an empty parking lot, around deteriating businesses and franchises. Like a pack of ranging feral dogs, people see us and avoid us. Our hiker patina sticks out and folks stare and leer.

We see the Wal-mart building, but it's all boarded up. 

"How is it even possible for something like that to close?" I ask. "Especially here, in this depressing town."

We look further down the hot parking lot and can see droves of people coming in and out of a building, like bees, or ants.

"There," AJ points. "That's where it's at."

It's an entire wal-mart shopping complex . With seperate entrances and frontages for, outdoor, home and grocery. It's horrifying to me.

We step in, and the artificial lights and artificial air choke me. It smells like plastic and poisons. We all run to the toiletries and pharmacy area. I find my new insoles, AJ finds some caffeine pills. I look in vain for some electrolytes, but can't find any. I get some unscented baby wipes. We all sit on a bench in the pharmacy area, looking like trash. My mood is quiet, sad and depressed. My thoughts still linger on lost love. Bananas puts his arm around me. We sit in silence for a while, while Engine and Second Wind look for supplies.

"BANANAS! BANANAS! BANANAS!" Engine calls from several isles away. We laugh at the absurdity of her screaming his trail name in public.

I wander off to the food section to buy a few things. Some spam, tuna packets and cookies.

We all gather at the check out and a man tried to get us to visit his big cat conservation park. 

"Do you have jaguars?" I ask.

He pulls out his wallet and shows me a picture of his hand raised male jaguar, named Cisco. I frown and realize he just owns a zoo.

We leave, and cross the scortching parking lot back to the Chinese buffet. The air is dry and a thick haze lies in the sky. Everything seems artificial and dead in this town and it makes me scared and sad.

I walk into the air conditioned buffet, a large glittering painting of a landscape greets us in the entry way and it plays a fake bird song.

Our mouths collectively drop when we see five seperate rows of buffet tables, full of hot piping food. We fill and fill our plates. I get full after only one plate and then I feel sick and drowsy. I take my shoes off and cut my new insoles out, not caring if I look like complete trash.

AJ, Bananas and Engine all go to a movie, while Second Wind and I stay in a booth. Occasionally getting more food, while I write and she and I talk. 

We dose off on the table and the wait staff eyes us warily. 

Eventually everyone comes back from the movie, and we find ourselves an Uber ride back to the cafe, since it's too difficult to hitch from the highway.

We arrive back at Hiker Town and mill about. Collectively we discuss how we're going to hike the next section, which starts off with a long flat walk along the LA Aqueduct. Because of a cold front that moved through, it won't be too hot to do some of the miles during the day. Most folks choose to night hike it. We decide to be ready to hike at 3:30AM.

I sort my pack and get some thing ready to go inside of an RV trailer. My body feels grimy and dusty. There's no way to escape the dirt here. I walk out of the trailer and to the facet to take a bandana bath and it leaves me feeling a little better. A wave of sadness hints me, and I sit on the stoop of the trailer and cry. Baloo rounds the corner and comforts me.

"Let's go look at some kittens," she tells me. 

She leads me to one of the small old western style buildings. Inside are two beds, lots of broken things and dusty light beams from the setting sun. A few adolescent cats skuttle about. The bold one of the group lets me hold him and he flops into my lap, purring.  Kitten therapy, it really works. A blond German called Twisted joins us and he sits on the bed across from me. The kittens swat at my braids, and we play with them for a bit. The light in the room, the space, the dirt coated creaking floors and the wind outside howling through the skeletal structure of the weird compound sort of suspends me for a moment. Such a strange place and such a strange time, with kittens and people I hardly know but we all care for each other, while we collectively wander in and out of the wilderness.

Twisted and kitten. 

Twisted and kitten. 

Little Engine, Baloo and Twisted.

Little Engine, Baloo and Twisted.

I wander my way back to the trailer. The sky burns hot pink to the east, behind the mountains. I don't know what to feel. I crawl up into the bunk space next to Second Wind and watch the sky out the small window. The wind rattles the trailer violently. I put in my earl plugs and try to lull myself into sleep for our early start tomorrow.

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Thank you!
Soft fawn lilies, among the thorns and poison oak, like stars on the land all around me.
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At times, I forget where I live. I forget the goodness I have.
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This retrograde, in my own natal sign of Aries has been a doozy for me. From computer fixes, to my car needing $2k in work, to feeling stretched very thin... it's been very challenging. But also lessons in survival, lessons in recognition of what privileges I have, lessons in what to protect, lessons in when and where not to give.
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As Mercury seemingly glides backwards, so do I. Words are hard to make. I move with a slowness I never thought possible for myself. And while the mishaps and frustrations have been very grating, I surrender to this strange energetic current.
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Boundary has been my word this retrograde cycle. Throw the salt around your home, stand your ground to those who would encroach on your sanctuary, be firm with pushy bullying spirits. Appreciate those plants that burn, sting and pierce. Don't curse them! They only teach through example...
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#witch #plantwitch #fawnlily #wildflower #lily #spring #aries #retrograde #mercury #lessonslearned #boundries #witchesofinstagram #plantspirit #plantspiritmedicine #poisonoak #cultivatingsoftness #staysoft #butfierce #ariesseason #witchesofthenorthwest
I'm breaking my regular posting radio silence to say hello! and reintroduce myself in a way. I've gained and lost quite a few followers, so I wanted to say hey to those who may not quite understand who/what I'm about!
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• My name is Britton, or sometimes I go by Pitch. A name I acquired while hiking the Pacific Crest Trail in 2017. It's about pines, if you're wondering.
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• I'm a witch person. What does that mean? I means very simply that I live in liminal spaces, communicate and ally with the unseen: Spirit, ancestors, trees, plants, rivers, dirt, birds are my guides. I'm an animist and seeker of understanding the strange mysteries of our world.
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• I make a living through making perfume, slow plant medicine and reading tarot (link in bio if you're curious).
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• Herbalism is a big passion of mine. Plants teach us, heal us. And not just our physical bodies, but our spirits.
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• While I've been living in Oregon for 10 years now, I am originally from Georgia. I have and keep a few inflections in my accent from my time growing up in and around the south. Swamps and trailer parks y'all.
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• My sun and moon are in Aries and I'm Aquarius rising. I still battle with my aloof Aquarian nature 🤷🏻‍♀️
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• My education stopped at the 4th grade. I'm a homeschooled, uneducated weirdo.
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• Some folks say I'm intimidating, but really I'm just a giant friendly goof who likes memes about doggos. And I say HECK a lot.
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• I got ADD! And it's reeeaaal difficult to deal with sometimes, but I handle it by creating structures and being patient with myself.
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• I can be very quiet, until I'm not.
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• I turn 33 in just 19 days! 😱
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• I'm the oldest of 6 heckin kids!
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• I'm really into divination through cards and bones (maybe you noticed? 😅). I've been studying and using the tarot for 10 years now. It's cheaper than therapy and it'll whoop your ass into shape.
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That is my brief self summary 👋
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Who are YOU? Where did you come from, and most importantly what's yer dang astrological sign? 🤓
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#aboutme #hello #witchesofinstagram #ADD #aries #ariesseaon #arieswoman #perfumer #herbalist #witchesofthenorthwest #northwest #yurtlife #pagansofinstagram #animist #itme #selfiesforselflove
I want us to be imbued, by the land.
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Buried in our skin.
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Taking three steps back.
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Letting the Devil catch me when I fall.
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& he teaches me to find so many stars, also fallen: all scattered in the dirt.
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#juniper #desertsky #desert #easteroregon #storm #devillessons #thedevil #mystic #crossroads #fallenstars #mercuryretrograde #aries #ariesseason #myheart #riverlessons #ethericcurrents
🏔WA🏔
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Cloud mist clinging to rock. The night and day before this was so wet. And my rain anxiety had kicked into high gear. My tent floor, flimsy cuben fiber had tiny holes all in it, making a pool of water around my sleeping pad. It was a poor and very cold night of sleep. As it goes though, you wake up, a little miserable because you have a new definition of what physical misery is and you "cheerfully" trudge through salmon berry, thimble berry bushes, getting drenched from the rain that clings to them. Also acquiring new scratches to your already trashed legs. You come to the top of the long climb and there's the sun, the mountains, huckleberries, the rocks and alpine firs. Lay out all your gear, get your sleeping bag crispy dry, feel full on life and powdered cappuccino mix and continue on...
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My missing this is only growing. Even though in the moment I took this picture all I was dreaming about was avocados, French press, never walking again, being able to preen myself in a real bathroom, and a loaf of sourdough with a pound of butter.
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#pct2017 #yearoffireandice #pacificcresttrail #pacificcresttrail2017 #pct #thruhike #thruhiking #traillife #trailstories #northcascades #longdistancehiking #womenwhohike #mountains #mist #witcheswhohike #cascades #mountainheart #mountainblood #hikerhunger #feral #witchlife #pacificnorthwest #pnw #pnwonderland
At the end of this month I will be sending out an herbal tea that has saved me 1000 times from: anxiety, looping thoughts, lack of concentration, feeling emotionally scattered, ADD (actual diagnosis), creeping doom feelings, heavy emotional labor work, dealing with shitty people, stress... lots.
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Obviously I am not a doctor, obviously this isn't a medication if you're dealing with mental health issues. That's for professionals. This however has helped me. As a person who has limited access to professional care, most of my health care is in my own hands. So I read, study and make my own medicine, because that's mostly all I got.
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What is it?
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Deep nervines.
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Deep nutritives.
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Gentle herbs: tulsi, nettle, passionflower and skullcap and a few other herbal friends.
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Uplifting and yet, unknotting tensions we hold inside us. This stuff holds your heart and your brain in a gentle way.
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This will be going up in my shop eventually, but you can get early access through my Patreon for $20. Each month I send out a little herbal care package. There's 10 additional slots open for this round and you're all welcome to join me if it interests you. This tea package will come with four servings and a small guide on an easy tea meditation you can use with *any* herb to get in touch with it, fully experience its medicine, while also coming back to your center: your heart.
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You find a link to my Patreon in my bio 🖤 or, sign up to my newsletter that'll let you know when I'll be doing my shop update 💌
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#fire #woodstove #tea #mug #herbaltea #herbalist #nervine #adaptogens #herbalist #herbalism #woodstovelife #countrylife #yurtlife #ruralliving #witchinthewoods #witchesofinstagram #healing #plantspirit #plantspiritmedicine #oregon #oregonlife #soot #witchlife
Often I am curious about the content and nature of the heart of a mountain. I see it as red and molten, naturally due to my location. Especially of this one, Wy'east. From far away he is so intimidating, commanding, he rumbles. I've gone broke neck for him too many times to count, making me swerve when I'm in city traffic. And I've listened to his glaciers crack and thunder out along a ridge line I walked one afternoon, years ago. It shook me deeply. He has held me while I watched stars fall... But when you draw nearer, he seemingly shrinks. Your feet sink deeply into his hot sands, like he wants to trap you, to slow you at least from leaving. Like that aim is for you to be consumed, eaten. He seems hungry and restless for something so deeply fixed in the land.
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I miss that mountain a lot, now that I am further south. When I moved here, I had no clue whatsoever I was getting myself into. I will never forget driving down the 84, of that great river, and moss and mist, of basalt and cascading water...
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My nomadic childhood never allowed me a place to call home, and I did find it here.
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Something else is happening though, the deep restless finds me again and beats in subterranean places within me. I acknowledge it, I sigh, lust for living fills me to the brim and I grow joyous that another landscape will hold me and reshape me as this one has, eventually.
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#cascades #mounthood #mounthoodnationalforest #wyeast #pct #pacificcresttrail #thruhike #backpacking #womenwhohike #armybrat #columbiarivergorge #witch #witchlife #witchesofinstagram #mountainheart #mystic #lust #volcano #womenwhohike #trailstories #dougfir #mountainhemlock #cascademountains